Dear Car Rental Company...

Dear Car Rental Company--

Recently I rented a car from your company. The car worked well and I had a jolly good time enjoying the freedom of the open roads. But that's not the reason for this note. I am writing to thank you so much for your nice letter that I received today informing me about my recent alleged toll road violation. (I say "alleged" because I've watched enough Law & Order episodes to know that generally an individual is presumed innocent until proven guilty--even for traffic tickets.)

I know that the fines for these types of toll road violations can be quite pricey and I thought it was very considerate of you to go to the trouble to contract with an outside company that would give us this type of courteous reminder. I also thought that it was very customer-serviced oriented of you to use your superior purchasing power and leverage in the marketplace to negotiate with the toll roads to reduce the fine to a mere $30. Sometimes the fines can be more than double that amount. And finally, I thought it was very patriotic of you to take on the responsibility of conveniently billing me to make sure that the fine owed to this quasi-governmental agency (i.e. the toll roads) was paid promptly.

Then I read the fine print in your letter and realized that the $30 was merely to cover the "administrative processing fee" for all of the above convenient services. Apparently I'm still on my own to pay the fine, because the small print clearly explained that "The issuing authority may contact you regarding the violation separately." Oops! My bad...You're right, they probably wouldn't be contacting me to send me belated birthday wishes.

Fortunately, I already made arrangements to have the toll paid directly, so I hope you aren't still going to bill me for an administrative processing fee/reminder that I never asked for and never needed.

I do applaud your entrepreneurial spirit though and efforts to provide a badly needed service for your loyal customers in these tough economic times. Best of luck to you in the future!

Sincerely,

Another Satisfied Customer