Man Shall Not Live on Bread Alone

The summer after law school, I somehow managed to wrangle an invitation for our family appear on the television game show "The Family Feud."  I had handpicked my team for success and we didn't disappoint.

During our episode, one of the questions that the other team got asked was: "Name something that humans need to survive."  Well, the other team got the easy ones: food, water, and air.  But they struck out when it came to the last one.  I'm proud to say that we huddled up and nailed it--stealing the points and sealing the win.  The not-so-obvious answer: SLEEP!

It's a good thing that was a few years back because in today's world, I think that we'd have to add another one...internet.

Our house has been without internet service for nearly two days now.  After 7 loyal years of service, our wireless router finally crapped out.  I can tell you it wasn't pretty.  iPads didn't work.  Kindles functioned only as paperweights.  Kids cried and whined.  And the adults probably did too.

Our new router!

As I initially tried to troubleshoot the problem two nights ago, S. kept on telling me that we needed to hire an "electrician."  It was kind of cute, but it also wounded my pride (slightly).  Yesterday, S. apparently kept telling several of our neighbors that we needed to hire an electrician.  I'm sure they thought it was pretty cute too.

However, I'm proud to announce that we are back online!  Silly S.!  You don't need an electrician, that's what dads are for!  Your dad diagnosed the problem as a bad router and ordered a new one.  He got an assist from Amazon in the form of free one day shipping and after a few minutes tonight, the internet is back in business at our household.  Hallelujah!  (And after a day full of frustrations, it's nice to have something that's actually working the it's supposed to!)

While the internet may not be as essential to human survival as bread, it sure does make things a lot easier (and more fun)!

Deja Who? (Dominican Rice Style)

Cure for World Hunger?

One of the drawbacks of taking a break from blogging is that you can get a bit rusty.  It's either that or old age, but my memory must be slipping.  I got hungry as I often do last night (Don't ask me why Sundays always seem to be extreme hunger days for me) and decided to cook some Dominican Rice for myself.

I grabbed the ingredients and thought that this was the perfect chance for me to do my long-awaited, much requested blog post with the recipe for Dominican Rice.  I know, everyone's excited aren't they???

Only problem is that I actually already did that post...last July!  Maybe it's early onset of dementia???

Anyway, I view this as a shameless attempt to beat Google's top-secret search formula and drive more web traffic to my sight by internally linking to a previous post.  I have to do something to keep this blog relevant.  After all, how many people can there be worldwide who are looking for pics of Vladimir Putin in a wife beater?  Or scintillating insight on the Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer?  Did I mention that there's a new episode of the Bachelor on tonight?  Because I did a very popular post last season when Sean Lowe and the guys were wooing Emily in Croatia.  If I'm ever going to monetize this blog, I need numbers people!!  ;-)

The rice is cooking....

But I digress--back to the Dominican Rice.  It turned out great.  It's really hard to mess it up, even when you take off the lid to the rice cooker (which you're not really supposed to do) to take a picture of the rice cooking.

Bring all the other ingredients to a simmering boil...

But don't take my word for it.  My kids asked for seconds and one of my office colleagues stole the leftovers out of my office when they spotted it.  Luckily, there was enough to share and I tracked down my container in the office fridge!  :-)

Buen provecho!

"It's Time..."

Hoosiers - One of the Great Movies of All Time

I still remember the first time that I saw this movie in the theater.  I've seen it a bunch of times since and I never get tired of it.  The first DVD I ever bought was Hoosiers (I just wish I knew were it was now!)

I've been thinking about blogging for a little while now and last night this scene from Hoosiers popped into my head:

I've heard from a few people who suggested that I do another blog post.  Your kinds words of encouragement meant a lot.  There are a lot of (good) reasons for why this blog took a hiatus, but probably just as many for why it's a good idea to continue.

So if I have any readers left out there, I hope I can occasionally post something funny, enjoyable, or at least worth a few minutes of your day.

So, in the immortal words of Jimmy Chitwood: "I don't know if it'll make any change, but I figure it's time...."

Google It!

My career as a blogger may have reached its pinnacle.  I found out today that my blog comes up first if you run a Google search on the following terms: "Costco big green machine."  (See the "world famous" post here.)  First out of about 11.4 million web sites!  That's not nuthin' folks!

Now that I've finally arrived reached this illustrious achievement (through tons of hard work and dedication, mind you), there may be nothing left to achieve in the blogosphere.  I should probably retire this blog while I'm still on top.  ;-)

A Year in the Life...

My Uncle and Me

My blog is one year old today.  I never actually thought that I would have a blog, much less be fairly active at blogging for an entire year (despite my dearth of recent posts...). There are things that I've loved about blogging and things that I don't like.

I feel like I'm at my best when I blog about things that inspire me.  I try to keep my posts short and pithy, if for no other reason than to keep The Mostess from complaining about my allegedly neverending Bachelorette recaps...

Sure, it's not all roses trying to keep a blog.  Probably the worst thing is the sense of guilt that I feel about not bogging certain things.  Here's a short list of the blog post topics that are rattling around in my head that may never actually see the light of day: Pumpkinman 2011; Hawaii Recap 2012; Ironman "Glory" Post (not that there is much "glory" for that one!); more posts/pictures of the kids; Cub Scout Camp; Scout Camp; Camp Pendleton Tri 2012, etc.

Probably my favorite picture from our (as yet) unblogged Hawaiian adventure earlier this year...

Also, the very act of creating a post is a somewhat personal exercise.  I appreciate all the more the courage that other bloggers have to share their hopes, dreams, successes, and fears with the "Blogosphere."  I'd like to think that I've had a post or two that have brightened someone's day or made someone feel better.

But there are lots of good things about having a blog.  :-)  So, without further ado, here is my Top 10 Best Things About Having a Blog for the Past Year:

10.  It's a good excuse to shamelessly post cute pictures of your kids.  Justify it by telling yourself that it's for the grandparents to enjoy.  ;-)

First Day of School/Shameless Baby Pic

E. Plays at the Beach on Labor Day

9.  Tell yourself that the countless hours of thinking about, writing, revising, and visiting your blog are worthwhile because you're really just keeping a high-tech journal.

8. When someone asks you what you've been up to lately, you can look at them with a smug face and say, "Don't you read my blog?"

7. It's great to see your blog get visitors from literally all over the world.  :-)

Australia

Nepal, India, and Brazil

6. I think my sense of humor has improved (even if my friends and family don't...)!

5. I get to be a part of the "Blogosphere" even if I'm not really sure what that is...  :-/

4. I feel like the creative exercise of attempting to craft a semi-interesting post for my blog has made me a better writer overall.

3. It's an awesome way to wish Happy Birthday to a friend or family member.

2.  You can get away with taking a picture of anything by just telling people that it's "for the blog."

Random Pic for the Blog

Tito's Famous Tacos

1. Those rare moments when someone tells you that they read your blog and they love it.  :-)

My Brother, My Cousins, and Me

On Saturday, we had a brunch with our extended family at a really nice place up in the Westwood area of Los Angeles.  We were there for my cousin's sealing and I was eating this awesome sweet crepe when my cousin, Ina, started telling me that she had randomly clicked onto some blog post about the past season of the Batchelor.

She started reading the post and was telling us how funny she thought it was.  Then she said, "And then I realized that it was your blog!"  :-)

Bless your heart Ina!  You totally made my day by telling me that.  And the best part was that she hadn't even realized that it was my blog post when she started reading it.  But moments like that make me think that blogging is pretty cool.

But, maybe even better than that is that I have "met" some awesome new (blogging) friends who have read my blog or have put some fun, entertaining stuff on their own blogs.

If you're reading this, chances are that you're one of those blogging friends, so thank you!

The Display-Off To End All Display-Offs, Indeed!

No one was more surprised than I was when I got the phone call to judge Round 3 of the Display-Off between The Mostess and Ashley C. (actually, it wasn't a phone call, but I digress):

The Chief

Lord Barrister

I mean, despite my extensive experience in the judicial arena (which includes, bytheway, operating a blog with the word "Court" in the name), you never really feel like you are really prepared for this type of experience.

I mean, this is The Mostess versus Ashley C.--two veritable titans of the Blogosphere.  And Round 3 no less!

It might as well have been the Immovable Object versus the Irresistible Force; Coyote vs. the Roadrunner; Batman vs. the Joker; Yankees vs. Red Sox; or Game 7 of the Celtics vs. Lakers.

You cannot imagine the pressure of making a bad decision in a contest this important.  I mean, you know that Ashley C. is going to be bringing her "A" game.  And you know that the Mostess doesn't even have a "B" game.  Heck, that's why they call her the "Mostess" for goodness sake!

And no matter what decision is made, someone is going to be disappointed.  It's inevitable.  But then I realized that someone had to do it.  And then I thought a little more about it and realized that I am not one to back down from a challenge.

That and the realization that I would be getting paid big bucks to make this decision.  And by "big bucks" I mean nothing, so you know why there was no way that I could turn down this (ahem) opportunity.  (Only later would I learn that my selection was pretty much by default because no one else was willing to do it...)

So I am ready to suffer the "slings and arrows of outrageous fortune" as Shakespeare put it--or perhaps more accurately, the slings and arrows of outrageous criticism sure to meet whatever decision I make.

But enough about me...Let's get to the Display-Off!

The Good:

Definitely Hooty:

Who doesn't love owls?  Especially at Thanksgiving.  They're a HOOT!

Let's face it, even though I'm one of the judges, there is no way that I could ever come up with any of this stuff!  And as The Mostess famously quoted Ashley C. (in a rare moment of "sister"-hood and sportsmanship for this otherwise heated rivalry): "...the visitors to our homes are the real winners in all of this."

Both Ashley C. and The Mostess are right.  We are the winners for being able to see their amazing sense of creativity and festive Fall holiday spirit.  But enough of this sappiness!

The Bad:

The Famous Homemade Life-Size Mummy

Ashley C.:  I hate to say this, but you took the bait and fell into The Mostess' trap (when The Mostess warned that the criteria for this contest would not be based on the following philosophy:. "No I love candy, so Ashley wins' business going on in this ever-important round!") when you failed to include your famous candy in your display!

If you did it to keep me from getting sick on your six-year-old candy, you are forgiven.  :-)

The Mostess:  Where was the life-size Mummy?  I'm fairly certain that would have sealed the deal early on (and spared me from having to write this massive post and all the rest of you from having to read it!).

Ashley C:  I'm not going to lie...I did miss the handmade penguin pinata.  With two PDR's and three birds in the display, your formidable display might well have proven insurmountable.

A Thanksgiving Penguin?

The Ugly:
Let's face it, there is nothing ugly about either of these worthy submissions.  :-)

The Deliberations:

PDR x 2

The Front Door

This was not an easy decision.  I saw The Mostess' display first and thought: "This will be hard to beat."

Then I saw Ashley C.'s display and thought: "How can you not choose this one?"

I studied both and then did what all good judges do.  I went to bed and decided to sleep on it.

I knew that I was going to need some additional resources to decide this one.

So I went into my office and decided to do something productive with my work computer by putting up both displays side by side.

Even that was not enough, so I had to pull up individual pictures of each display--side by side--so that I could really focus on the details.  (see example above and at right...)

And even then, there was no clear winner.

I realized that I needed to try and come up with a set of criteria that was fair and equitable.  Because honestly, the criteria for the decision--for my decision at least--would dictate the decision.

My first thought was to decide whether I should judge based on sheer volume of display/bounteousness.  If I used that as my criteria, clearly The Mostess would win.  I mean she had (as far as I could tell), three entirely distinct areas for her display.  Ashley C., on the other hand, did not have as many areas or as much stuff.

And yet to go on that criteria alone would not have been fair because (since I've never been to either house), maybe The Mostess has a much bigger house and yard than Ashley C.  Or maybe Ashley C. is worried that if she puts out as much stuff in her display, it will mysteriously disappear during the night.

And also, as we all know, bigger isn't necessarily better (i.e. look at our bloated federal government) and good things come in small packages.

Then I thought, well maybe the criteria should be "restraint."  I mean Ashley C. would certainly agree with that.  ("...But also the key to a great Spooktacular display is RESTRAINT..."), so she could hardly fault me if I used that as my criteria.

"Restraint"

And in fact, if I did use "RESTRAINT" as my sole criteria, I think that Ashley C. would win.  Yes, it was smaller than The Mostess' display, but it was all there in one neat, tidy, balanced, symmetrical, pleasantly-arranged, visually-appealing, pyramid-like cornucopia of "bounteous" goodness.

But to use that would not be fair to The Mostess because she is apparently from the "Go Big or Go Home" school of thought.  And it probably is tougher to show restraint when you have a bigger porch area or more stuff to fit in to your display.

So then I decided that maybe the solution was to look at individual elements and to see what elements each person had.

I noticed that Ashley had a very festive wreath on her front door.  But then I looked at The Mostess' display and she too had a wreath that was perhaps even more festive.

Then I looked at The Mostess' and thought how great her cornstalks looked (she is from Iowa after all!).  Then I looked at Ashley C.'s blog and realized that she too had cornstalks (and apparently was the one who sacrificed life and limb to get them).

And so it went:

Vintage crates:  Check. Check.
Indian corn:  Check. Check.
Pumpkins:  Check. Check.
Squash:  Check.  Check.
Gourds:  Check. Check.
Fall Foliage (Leaves, grasses, branches, seed pods):  Check. Check. Check.


I could go on nearly all day!  (And sadly, you probably think I have--if you even read this far!)

So let's get on to some of the more important things:

PDR:

Ashley C. included her famous PDR.  But wait, The Mostess "saw" her PDR and raised her one Pilgrim's hat  PDR!  But before you get too excited, let's remember that Ashley C. was the one who came up with the PDR in the first place.  Call that one a draw.

This PDR stands for "Piece Deux Resistance"...

Cornucopia:

And we can't forget the Cornucopia.  What would Thanksgiving be without a Horn of Plenty?  The Mostess had one of course.  But Ashley C. made a calculated decision to omit the traditional horn because they are "played [out]".  Instead, Ashley C. went with a "whimsical" pumpkin turkey.

A Turkey - The "Lesser-Known" Thanksgiving Bird
(Behind Owls of Course!)

Did Ashley C. take a risk?  Yes, she did.  Did it pay off?  Yes.  But I still call this one a draw as well.

Trash-Talking:

Yes, what would a Display-Off be without the usual assortment of good-natured insults and jibes?  As you know, in this country the fourth Thursday of every November is a day of thanks (and turkeys) but "thankfully" Ashley C. and The Mostess do not let us forget that it is also a day for another "T"--Taunts.  ;)

The Mostess concludes her post by writing: "Bring it Carter!! Let's see what you got!"

Undaunted by The Mostess' jab, Ashley C. helps us by playfully including a "picture" of The Mostess' display.  

  

She also throws in a few verbal barbs along the way...all in good fun of course!  Edge:  Even.

Other Details:

And we really are down to details.  But don't despair.  I will cast my vote for a winner.  I'm too much of a sports fan to ever be satisfied with a tie.  Because having a tie is like kissing your sister. 

Ashley C.'s display incorporates some really cool "vintage-y" lanterns.  One is filled with small gourds and squashes (or is its squashi?).  The other appears to be filled with acorns.

The Mostess' display has vintage items like a picnic basket filled with Mums (sadly no mummies though) and a milk jug with grasses in it.  She also has some delicious looking green crab apples in a harvest basket (just don't eat them. I think they're plastic) and a tin bucket with a white pumpkin in it.

Conclusion:


Both displays have their merits.  There are lots of good points and really no bad points.

In the end, the criteria that I had to use was which of these Bountiful Harvest displays was most visually appealing on the whole.  They both incorporated many of the same elements and yet were original and different from each other.

Ashley C.'s greatest strength was the simplicity and concise layout of her display.  It really is amazing how she was able to pull so many disparate elements into one harmonious display.

The Mostess' talents were also on display and she showed why she has certainly lived up to her nickname.

On another day, with another set of criteria, my final vote could probably change, but for me, the difference maker in this contest was that The Mostess was able to incorporate the green crab apples and white pumpkin into her display and that is what put her over the top in my book.

Yes, The Mostess, the unique variety of colors do make this display "so inviting to guests as they walk up the path..."  ;)

Congratulations, my vote goes to: The Mostess!